The Ugly Truth
by cchickki
Summary: Ellie tries to adjust to life at Tommy's dam, but she can't help but feeling that Joel has lied to her about what really happened with the Firefly's. Maybe it would've been better if she was left at that hospital. Rated M for language.


The sunshine crept through the window, and much to Ellie's annoyance, to her bed where it shone on her face. She pulled her blanket over her head with a groan, trying to shield herself from the morning rays. She tossed and turned, but nothing worked, she couldn't get comfortable enough to fall asleep again. She threw the blanket off with a huff of frustration her and sat up to get ready for today.

Someone began knocking at her door.

"Ellie, c'mon, get up! We have to start on the chores!" A sugary-sweet and enthusiastic voice of one of the female lookouts at the dam came from the other side.

"I know, I fuckin' hear ya." Ellie mumbled under her breath. She pulled on her old faded jeans and slipped her Angel Knives shirt over her head. It was her favorite shirt, it always made her think of Riley.

The rapid knocking came again.

"C'mon, El! These chores won't start themselves!" The lookout woman chimed again. Her giggly, singsong way of talking made Ellie want to be physically ill. She hoped that she didn't have to go out and take of the horses with that woman.

"Jesus, I hear you! Give me a minute!" Ellie snapped. She heard footsteps leave the doorway, much to her relief.

Ellie wasn't her usual self these days. After waking up in a car with a hospital gown on, and Joel telling her that the Firefly's had stopped looking for a cure made her world come crashing down. Her immunity to cordyceps felt useless to her now, although it had always felt like a sort of curse to her. She stayed alive while dear friends of hers died from the hellish disease, and there was nothing that she could do about it. When her and Joel found the Firefly's at Salt Lake City, she swore that this would be it, that she'd stop feeling powerless. But Joel had told her everything, and said he was telling the truth. But Ellie wasn't so sure. She prayed to whatever God that would listen that she was wrong, but her gut told her otherwise.

Ellie scratched at her bite mark unconsciously; a bad habit that she's started since Joel had taken her back to the hydroelectric dam. Ellie put her shoes on, taking her time tying to laces. Life had become so routine that it was almost mundane. Everyone at the dam always smiled and laughed like there wasn't a care in the world, it's like they've _forgotten _what is really out there. Joel seemed much happier; almost like an entirely different person than the man that had smuggled her across the country. She tried to act happy for him, but there were just some days that she could not hide how miserable she felt.

She rummaged through her backpack looking for the walkie-talkie that Maria had given her when her hands brushed across Sam's robot. A wave of sadness washed over her but she continued to search anyway. Riley. Tess. Sam. They all got infected and she didn't. What made her the lucky one? Ellie pulled out the walkie-talkie and clipped it to the side of her jeans. She opened her bedroom and door and left without looking back at her backpack.

* * *

Ellie was just about to finish up her chores. The last thing she had on the agenda was to brush out the horses mane. She enjoyed taking care of the horses, although they made her miss Callus an awful lot. She started to head to the horses when she heard someone call her name.

"Ellie!"

She turned to see Tommy jogging up to her, a rich smile on his face. The sides of her lips twitched into a weak smile. She didn't have the pep to give him a full, fake smile today.

"You headed toward the horses?" Tommy asked her, walking by her side.

"Yup." Ellie answered, looking ahead instead of at him. Tommy had done so much for her and she felt childish with how she'd been acting lately, but the thought that Joel had lied to her was too much for Ellie to shake off.

"After lunch a group wants to take them riding, y'know for fun. Do you want to join?" Tommy asked with that same unfaltering smile on his face.

"No thanks."

"Ya sure? You used to love riding the horses. You haven't done it in a long while."

"I just haven't been in the mood." Ellie said flatly. She quickened her pace to get to the horses, and Tommy stopped asking her questions.

* * *

While brushing out the horses mane, Tommy had been rambling on about the dam and how things have been going. He eagerly went on about how they hadn't spotted an Infected in weeks, and how there hasn't been any bandits in even longer time than that. He talked about the team finding new movies and books to be added to the library. He had even found some wine and brandy, but he was saving it to give to Joel and Maria. Ellie selectively listened in silence. Uneasiness bubbled up inside her when she thought about asking Tommy if he thinks (or knows) that Joel had lied to her about what really happened at the hospital. She already expected the answer that she was going to get: 'Oh of course not! My brother is an honest man!' or 'I haven't heard anything about it, I'm sure he was telling the truth. You can't be the only one that is immune.'

Another thing that bothered her is that Joel hadn't let her see Marlene. Ellie had gotten to the hospital unconscious; all she remembered is falling in the water in the underground subway. She remembered waking up briefly to see some Firefly's taking her on a stretcher to a separate room. She had felt content and even a little blissful to the fact that they had made it. They were going to figure out a way to create a cure from her. Then Ellie had woken up in the car, and Joel told her that there were others and that they'd had stopped looking for a cure. It didn't make sense, and he didn't even let her say goodbye to Marlene. That was her mother's best friend, the woman that had looked after her back in Boston. She was planning on asking Joel if one of these days that they could go back Salt Lake City so she could visit Marlene. But it seemed doubtful that Joel would want to take her back out there.

Ellie sighed in frustration. Tommy had finally finished talking when they had heard the sharp ringing of a bell go off. That stupid fucking bell.

"Well, sounds like it's time for school, Ellie." Tommy informed her, oblivious to how irritated she was.

"I know…" She mumbled. She had left her supplies back in her bedroom so she had to rush all the way back there to get them then rush all the way back to the section of the dam that had been made into a classroom. She definitely was going to be late again, which she didn't really care either way, but the teacher would chew her out again then later report to Joel.

"Hurry up so you're not late. Thanks for the help, El!" Tommy called to her, she was already running to her room to get her supplies.

* * *

Ms. Welsh was lecturing the class on The Great Depression today, but not before she had scolded Ellie on the importance to coming to class on time. Ms. Welsh was like a broken record whenever she had to scold her; it was always 'you're the oldest in the class, you should be setting an example!' She was right about Ellie being the oldest, all of the kids at the dam were ten and under. The children loved Ellie, they always asked her about Ellie's smuggling journey with Joel, which she was always reluctant to share.

Ms. Welsh was writing notes on the blackboard about the stock market crash of '29 and about Wall Street, but Ellie was tuning her out. She doodled in her notebook, hoping that the teacher wouldn't notice her, but it didn't seem like any of the other kids were paying attention either. Ellie didn't even know what the hell stocks or Wall Street was, so how would kids younger than her know? She didn't even know why it was important to know about this stuff; anything before the Outbreak didn't really seem to matter. Ms. Welsh continued to go on when a woman peeked her head in. Ellie recognized that it was the overly-excited lookout that was knocking on her door this morning. A quiet groan escaped Ellie.

"Excuse me, Ms. Welsh? I need to see Ellie for a moment. Boss' orders!" The overly happy woman informed the teacher.

"Very well, you're dismissed Ellie." Ms. Welsh addressed Ellie with a stern voice. Ellie shot her a cold look but didn't respond. She packed up her things silently and followed the woman out.

The woman led Ellie across the dam, she told her that she was taking her to see Tommy and Joel with that high and syrupy voice of hers. That woman walked with such a peppy bounce in her step whenever she marched around the dam. Ellie wanted to ask her what made her feel so goddamned happy when the entire world has gone to shit, but she never did. Ellie learned the hard way that keeping her mouth shut sometimes was the best thing.

Ellie had a sinking feeling that she was about to get lectured again, but this time about her mood and not her punctuality. The woman opened the door to a room where Joel and Tommy were waiting for her. The woman left them together, still smiling. She had no idea what was going on. Ellie took off her backpack, and let it slide to the floor.

"Ellie we wanted to talk to you about your… attitude lately." Joel began right off the bat.

"It seems like something's really bothering you, and we are just concerned." Tommy added.

Ellie only stared at them. They didn't want to know what was bothering her lately, and there was no way in hell that she would even mention it with Joel here. Ellie began to hastily scratch at her bite mark again.

"I'm not sure if this is moody teenage rebellion, but you should tell us what is going on. You can trust us, El." Tommy said softly, with a bit of humor in his tone.

Ellie remained silent.

"Ellie-" Joel started, with a knowing expression on his face. They had endured so much together and it hurt that Ellie even thought that Joel would lie to her. She hated having those feelings.

"Nothings going on… I'm just…" Ellie glanced down at her feet, trying to think up an excuse to get these two off her back. She noticed her Angel Knives shirt and immediately thought of Riley. "I'm just really missing some of my friends lately…"

"Friends? You have friends here." Joel gave her a funny look.

"I mean friends that didn't make it." Ellie finished, her voice rising strongly as she spoke. There was no way anyone could ever replace Riley.

"I'm sorry, I had no idea. Should we set you up to talk to someone? Dr. Randle could help. You're due to see him soon anyway." Joel looked sympathetic as he talked, and it made Ellie want to tell him the truth even less.

"I don't want to talk to anyone. I just want to be on my own for awhile." Ellie interjected, starting to feel annoyed.

Dr. Randle was the only doctor at the dam. Tommy had said that the dam was fortunate to have a doctor on site, but Ellie thought he was a joke. Whatever symptoms you were having, he always prescribed rest. Sleep can't always fix everything, sometimes it just makes things worse.

"But it's not a bad idea to see that Doc." Tommy added, agreeing with his brother.

"I hate doctors." Ellie moaned.

"No one likes check ups, but they're important. We're lucky to even have a doctor at the dam with us." Joel walked up to Ellie and gave her a pat on the shoulder. "C'mon, how 'bout I teach you a new rift on the guitar?"

"Actually, I'm pretty tired. I think I'm going to take a nap. Thanks for getting me out of school." Ellie gave the brothers a convincing smile and left.

* * *

Back at her room, Ellie undressed to change back into something more comfortable to wear. She tossed and turned in her bed, but finally fell asleep after a few minutes.

* * *

Ellie woke up from her nap drenched in sweat and her heart hammering in her chest. She had another nightmare, another nightmare about David. She wiped the sweat from her brow, relaxing as her body realized that it was back in reality.

She dreamed that she was back in the blizzard. The snow was so dense that it had blinded her as she ran around trying to find a way out. Only armed with her knife she wandered endlessly without a purpose, until she saw droplets of blood on the ground. They made a trail leading ahead, but the snow prevented Ellie from seeing all the way. She followed it for ages until she came upon a tall building that she didn't recognize. She went inside and found a dim light that only lit a narrow pathway inside. The edges of the walls were pitch black, she could only see the ground and the continuing blood trail. She continued to follow until the blood trail ended. The sight before her froze her body in fear. She screamed over and over again in her head and demanded her body to move but it remained immobile. David had Riley on a steel table, and was slicing her up with his machete.

Chop, chop, chop.

The sickening sound rang in her ears as she watched mutely. She saw that the remains of another body that had been discarded onto the ground. It was Sam. She felt nasuous and wanted to tear her eyes away, but she couldn't. David kept on slicing up Riley, he went to bring his machete down when he halted halfway through. His head tilted slightly upwards, and his dark and eerie eyes followed. He had noticed her. His leer had chilled Ellie to the bone as she stood there, still unable to move.

_"There you are." _His menacing voice echoed through the room. He suddenly sprinted at Ellie at an inhuman speed. She remained still, only able to brace herself. She woke up when he was inches from her face.

_It was just a fucking nightmare. I need to stop dreaming about that piece of shit. _Ellie thought over and over again. She shuddered as she tried to forget about it.

The sinking feeling of uneasiness returned; she could never fully shake the feeling. Something was wrong. She knew that she had to talk to someone about it. She had to know if Joel was telling the truth. She scratched her bite mark furiously as she stood up to get changed. Before she pulled on her red flannel shirt over her tank top she looked down at herself and felt weak in the knees. She grew wide-eyed and her mouth went dry. She finally realized what was wrong. She saw her walkie-talkie laying on the floor next to her pants. She picked it up with her shaking hands and turned it on.

"Maria." Ellie said weakly into the device.

"Ellie? Is that you?" Maria's voice came through the other side.

"I need to talk to you."

* * *

Ellie made her way through the dam to see Maria; slowly like a convict walking the last mile. Residents of the dam waved and greeted her, but she just kept on going, ignoring them. It felt as if her life was coming down to this very moment, even more than when her and Joel were so close to the hospital. If Joel was telling the truth, then that's how things were meant to be. But if he was lying-

She felt dizzy and wanted to throw up. She tried to shake those thoughts from her head, but after what she saw when she went back to her room… she needed to talk to someone. Maria was the only person that she could go to. She reached the door to where Maria's office was, well it wasn't her _official _office, but it's where she was usually stationed. Ellie knocked on the door timidly. There was no answer so she knocked again. Finally Maria answered the door.

"Come in, Ellie. What's going on?" Maria asked, noticing the drained look on Ellie's face.

"I need to ask you something. It's very important that you tell me honestly." Ellie stated quickly.

"Okay, shoot."

"Do you know if Joel was telling me the truth about what happened to the Firefly's?"

Maria hesitated, averting her gaze. Ellie held her breath, waiting for an answer.

"That's… not my place to say. You should ask Joel." Maria told her slowly. It was obvious to Ellie that she knew something.

"Please! I need to know! He won't tell me the truth!" Ellie pleaded. Maria stared at the young girl's green eyes that were begging for an answer. She was desperate to know, for reasons unknown to Maria.

Maria sighed, giving in.

"I overheard Tommy and Joel talking one night." Maria started. "Joel told Tommy that he killed the surgeons, the guards, and even Marlene-"

"What?!" Ellie gasped.

"He said they were going to kill you, Ellie."

"That can't be true! They needed me for the cure!" Ellie shouted.

"They were going to kill you to get the cure. The only way is to go through your brain, that's what Joel said. He didn't want you to die, Ellie. It's the ugly truth, but-"

"He…" Ellie couldn't get the words out. What Maria told her was overwhelming. He had killed everyone, even Marlene. She was the cure for mankind and now there was absolutely no way to get a vaccine. "He should of let me make the choice." Her voice came out robotic and hollow.

Maria went over to hug her, but Ellie backed away.

"Ellie, honey." Maria soothed.

Ellie started laughing bitterly. Maria looked at her, bewildered by her behavior.

"It's finally my turn, Riley." Ellie said aloud, looking up at the sky. Maria continued to watch her, confused.

Ellie took off her red flannel shirt. She held out her right arm, showing her bite mark. The bulging blisters had gotten bigger, and were spreading up to her shoulder. The skin around the wound had become a crimson red and looked damp. It too ran up her arm and to her shoulder, and even started creeping toward her neck. The cruel twist of irony had made Ellie laugh again.

Maria gaped, staring at the bite. She was unable to say a word.

"It's spreading."

* * *

**Author's note:**

**When I first finished The Last of Us I really did think that it looked like Ellie's bite was spreading. (The part when she's in the forest with Joel right before they return to Tommy's dam, she is seen looking at it and touching it). I saw on Tumblr that some other people thought so too. So I thought that the mutation only slowed the process of turning instead of making her completely immune. It probably isn't true, but that was just my speculation.**

**Thanks for reading! **


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